A team of 16 intellectuals sits around a desk for a 4-hour meeting. Recent stats show that top class universities – UON admitting fewer students as compared to the previous academic years. So these guys are smart enough to contemplate beating the likes of UON, Moi at their own game. Mr. IT what do you think can be done to have us realize the highest number of admissions come September intake by minimizing the cost of marketing our institution and courses we offer on TV screens? One brilliant man nearly 40, clears his throat and says, “Sir, I have an idea that will attract dollars our way as Kabarak University” continue.. (someone whispers), “the whole idea is bound on pretence, that is a lie. It will be against the integrity of an institution like this but, trust me in a span of about a fortnight we would have garnered 80% of the Kenyan netizens attention without advertising on tv screens, as a result kabarak university will record highest number of admissions come September intake, trust my gods.” He sits down. Members around the table mesmerized and in dilemma. The chair, calmly stands and asks Mr. IT please pardon us, sir. Spill the magics to us. He stands again Now everyone quiet, “Like I said the whole thing is built on grounds of lies, believe me it will work.. fellow congressmen if the deal cooks so well do not ‘forget’ my granny’s granary. It’s her wit I’m using. This is it, Of all the social media pages, facebook has the most netizens using it. So we will use our Facebook page. We only need 20mbs of data. Mr. Paul is here, come on Paul guide us from here Paul stands and removes his glasses and says, “well this is it, printing department will make a statement to the public that our facebook page has been hacked and it’s worked on its reinstatement then profile picture for the official page of Kabarak University will be immediately changed by the Facebook admin. By so doing, our page will attract attention of the netizens, news will spread like wild fire and all of a sudden we will be everywhere on tv screens trending. This will see our page grow followers so fast. Then admin will have to later start tweet anything widish, yoyo boys, & smoke from the western charlatans. Days later on the final bit of it, he starts posting in Swahili. This will further unite millions of Kenyans online and offline. Later we will tweet; our account has been successfully reinstated by our cyber security team and we apologize to the public for the inconveniences caused. This time making sure our page has hit 100k plus subscribers/followers Come September never be surprised we will absorb the highest number of admissions… Members of the proposition say ‘waaaa’ the waaas have it!”
Paul ends his submission. Congressmen nodding vigorously and clapping fallaciously whispering ‘Waaaaziiii mkuu!! weee ni bingwa …we ndio Mstahiki Meya. Kiongoss! Tears in my eyes